Teach yourself to cook

The grand debploma

Hello friends,

I've been trying to decide what to do following my unsuccessful attempt to win the Grand Diplôme scholarship at Le Cordon Bleu. On the train home, I was full of determination and inspiration, practically skipping down the platform to get started on changing my life.

Unfortunately I woke up the next day on a normal morning with a normal job and a normal to-do list. Ho hum. Back to reality, back to the desk. When I stopped for lunch my truly excellent husband had made kim-cheeses¹. After slumping down in my chair, I took an enormous bite of gooey, spicy, crunchy cheesiness with a glug of hot tea, and it struck me. The point of entering was to elevate my cooking, learn the finer skills and try new things - do I need to go to culinary school to do that? I could do it myself, people teach themselves things all the time. My granddad taught himself how to play the organ just because he fancied it. By the time I had polished off the last crumb it was decided. I’m going to teach myself how to cook.

Now, I hope you don’t mind me saying that as it stands I’m currently not bad with a pot and pan, however, this is about learning to do things properly. I’m going to start from the basics and work my way up to haute cuisine. I’ve got a rough idea of the fundamentals that need to be covered for this kind of course and there are plenty of resources out there to assemble a complete syllabus, a process that is currently underway. It might seem a little excessive to write a syllabus for a student body of one, but I know that I’ll be a much more effective teacher when the lessons are planned out in advance and a better student if there are specific goals to meet. Each week I’ll aim to hit one of my learning targets - even if it’s something not entirely new to me - and by this time next year I’ll have taking my cooking to the next level.

Of course, I am a slight disadvantage in that one of the benefits of going to cooking school is being taught by worldly chefs who have seen it all and know just as much. I, however, will be taught by an amateur and occasional idiot -it is bound to slow me down. In addition, there’s the 1.5 full time jobs to contend with which means it’s unlikely I'll be able to dedicate the up-to-39 hours of guided learning needed to complete a full diploma, not to mention all the self-learning that’s generally expected on the side.

There are some advantages in my arsenal though. I might not have any formal culinary training but there is a good chunk of scientific training under my belt, so research is my home girl. Many-a late evening in the lab were spent reading papers and working out how to replicate the results, comparing authors and protocols, digging out knowledge. What I lack in industry experience, I make up for in determined research and note taking. I am working on getting some industry experience, but all in good time. There’s also an uncharacteristically optimistic can-do attitude up my sleeve².

While I finalise my lesson plan and set some not-too-insufferable goals, if any readers have recommendations for culinary arts resources please do share them. If anyone is keen to learn along with me, I’ll be sharing where I get any information and inspiration each week and how to navigate the inevitable boo-boos and muck-ups, as well as (hopefully) the successes and triumphs. I’ll be letting you know when I hit my targets and when I’m tearing my hair out, and when life gets all too much so we must resort the ultimate desperation recipe: Mrs Beeton’s toast sandwich. Let the Grand Debploma commence!

Yours in unnecessarily complicated timetables,

Deb

1. Grilled cheese with cheddar and mozzarella and homemade kimchi - delightful.

2. Peppered with just teensy bit of vengeance.